penguin13

Tomorrow is my first half-marathon of the season and the nerves are kicking my arse! I’ve done other races this season, but this is the first of my 2 half-marathons that lead up to the full marathon in October. I know I’ve been putting in the work, but it’s still a nail biter til the end.

I went to the expo yesterday and picked up all my race accoutrement - my race number and my timing chip, plus all of the freebies that you get in a race pack. I walked around the expo for almost 2 hours, so I only did a short run last night. Plus, it was 105 with the heat index at 8p, so I wasn’t going very far.

Today I’m resting. However, I deal with stress by going for a run. So, today is really hard for me cos I know I can’t calm the nerves with exercise. I also am so much in WW point mode that I’m struggling with all that I have to eat today to build my reserves for the race. I eat all protein 2 days before the race, so that my body will store the carbs better the day before. However, everything in my dieting brain is toshing, cos I’ve spent months training it not to eat this way. It’s a tough balance. Eat lots of carbs and don’t work out today. Good luck with that! Ugh. I just have to keep reminding myself that I’m going to burn about 2500 calories during my run tomorrow and I need the reserves. Especially, as it’s reportedly going to be 93* tomorrow WITHOUT the heat index and humidity figured in.

I’m working on the fun part of racing to try to keep my brain occupied - my MP3 player! I’m putting the final touches on the music I want to get me through the race. If you have any suggestions for songs, let me know! I’d love to add some more to my play list!

I just looked up my time from last year, so I know the time to beat. Please send good vibes this way! I want to be able to post a tale of survival next week! 

Have a great week-end!  

My attempts at a cohesive blog are failing. However, I realise it’s been a while and I *need* to write it, read it, own it and move it out. Therefore, maybe a list is what I need right now. Welcome to my randomness!

* I just got off the phone with my doctor. (I had an appt Friday) I’ve been on the thyroid meds for almost 2 months now and get this…my thyroid numbers are going DOWN instead of up! Not good. So, I’ve just been informed that we’re doubling my meds. Ugh.

* The other nurse at work has been “relieved of her responsibilities”…corporate speak for she was fired. It’s good/bad news. She was making my work-life miserable, but she was another body to (sometimes) help. Now, I’m the only nurse in a 2 doctor practice and I’ve put in more hours in the last 2 and 1/2 weeks, than I did last month! More ugh.

* The half marathon is Sunday and the pre-race jitters are setting in early. I’m usually nervous a few days before, but this time I’m clattering already. If I look at my training journal I know I’ve put in enough training, but it’s gone so fast that I almost don’t remember doing the work. It’s 8 weeks until the marathon and I think that’s part of these jitters - although, I’m trying my best to separate the two.  Have I mentioned…ugh?!

* I spent the week-end with my mum, which was a much needed reprieve from the drone of the work-home-work-home cycle. We are VERY close and I needed the time with her to just “be.” The only problem - she is a feeder and I have a hard time not giving in. I managed okay this week-end, only had 2 mishaps. I’ll get on the scale tomorrow and find out the damage, but I think it’s not as bad as usual. I think she’s starting to understand that feeding my hurt is counter-productive.

So, not the most interesting blog ever - but, I needed to focus my brain a little.

Make it a great week! Thank you for being here!

My daydreaming brainstorm for today, is realising that I’m a ”Polaroid” kinda girl, in a “big picture” kinda world. I get overwhelmed and under motivated when trying to shuffle too many things or imagine too far into my future. That being said, I came up with a new way to look at my diet (*ahem* lifestyle change) and motivation strategy.

I need to be able to focus on one reason a day that I’m trying to lose weight. I have a pace band that I use for my marathons and realised this could work in my favour before the race. A pace band is basically a 2cm wide, cloth bracelet that is moisture wicking and fastens with velcro. It has a plastic sleeve that a piece of paper slips into - usually a pace calculator that lists miles/times to keep you on target for finishing the marathon within your goal. So I figure every day I will slip a piece of paper into the bracelet, that lists the ONE reason for that day that I want to lose weight. It gives me more focus, cos I only have one thing to concentrate on - instead of the 1001 reasons I want to lose. Plus, I wear long sleeves at work, so it’s still personal. However, I’m not used to having something on my wrist, so just feeling it there will remind me to refocus on the reason and my ultimate goals.  BONUS … if I get weak and try to reach for something to eat when I shouldn’t - my sleeve pulls up and there’s the reason staring me in the face!

I’ve also decided to record each day’s reason on a monthly calendar. That way, I put some big-picture back into my life. I already record work-outs and track weights on  the calendar, so I think being able to see the correlation will do me well.

I’m excited about this new plan! Coupled with the serious pow-wow I had with my kitchen gnomes (thanks, Linda!), I think things are working up! Cheers, my friends!

Today has been a good day. I decided to let me have the kind of day I *wanted*, rather than the kind of day I thought I was supposed to have. Usually on the rare days I get to have off of work and/or my business, I make a list of all the things I need to accomplish. Today, I tore up the list and decided to do whatever I wanted. I needed a day to enjoy, rather than one to accomplish!

Part of me feels that I did nothing. Although, the things I wanted to do were better for me than the things I would have listed. I went for a nice, easy run and I came home and did all of my challenges (go HotRods!). Then, I took the time to cook (not microwave) some good meals to have for the week. I also managed to drink down 4 litres of water! It was a big eye-opener to realise that when I’m more relaxed, I’m much more apt to stay OP. Imagine! I have always thought it would be the opposite. Darn it if I’m not going through self-discovery!

My biggest victory today, was my food choices tonight. I made a staple (caserole-esque), fresh veggies and salad. When it came time to plate-up, I put what I thought I wanted of the staple on my dish. Then, on a second dish I put more veggies and salad than usual. I then took half of the plated staple and added it to the veggie plate. That’s the one I ate from. Crazy method, but in my world being able to plate what I wanted, then refuse it for a better choice felt good! Even if it took a round-about way to get there. My brain just isn’t ready for plating small, yet. Baby steps…

I hope everyone had a restful holiday! Cheers!

It’s so hard to manage at other people’s homes. I have my own pet-sitting business and this week-end will be spending time at two houses. I bring my own food to both, which is the good news. The bad news: it’s so hard to lug the “good stuff” with (I don’t have a car and use buses and trains to get around). Ever noticed how much less the bad foods weigh? Chips/cookies/do-it-your-box-self food = light. Fruits/veggies/whole foods = heavy. Ironically cruel! It makes chosing the right food easy, as what I have with me is the only choice to eat. However, if it doesn’t suit my fancy, lack of willpower is only a phone call away!

The other challenge I face, is boredom. If I were at my own home, I could be doing things around the house or going to the gym across the street or having friends over. Unfortunately, when I stay at other homes I don’t have things to keep me actively busy and away from the icebox. Thankfully, I’m staying at a house with dogs - which affords me LOTS of walks. But, there are only so many walks to go on - especially in the 90* and rainy (we’ve been having floods, even in the city) weather we’ve been having!

On a strange, yet postitive week-end note: the Taste of Chicago starts this week-end. Most people would think this a down-fall, but for me it’s a great way to get out with friends, walk a lot and be around food without worry of eating too much. I’m a vegetarian and most of the foods centre around the carnivorous types, so over-eating isn’t a problem. I won’t be able to get out there this week-end, but next week will be fun! There are also a few foot races associated with the Taste, so lots of walking and more running - can’t wait!

Happy Friday, all!

I finally get it - at least, it’s starting to sink-in. It’s only taken 33ish years for me to realise that I should do something because *I’m* worth it FIRST; if I don’t - then no one else is worth doing it for. I know, “DER!” Most of you are probably laughing at my epiphany, but it’s huge for me. I’ve never been my own motivating factor before. It’s kinda surreal. I’m not sure I’m buying into it whole-heartedly, but there’s part of me that looked at a few things twice this week (my weight loss journey, included) and realised I need/want it for me. I’m going to do what I can to keep it going. I was always worried that this would make me a selfish person and I was afraid of that. Now, I’ve realised I can give more of myself, because I’m not bogged down with the “yes factor.” I heard a great phrase this week: “The ‘No’ is to make the ‘Yes’ remembered.” I’m still trying to track-down it’s author, but it’s now posted in daily sight!

Enjoy your journey, my friends!

Well, I’ve been on the thyroid meds for a little over a month now. After the initial nausea they induced, I think my body is finally starting to adjust. They no longer give me the morning queezies, but I don’t feel any change, yet. I’m still having a lot of the symptoms of the Hashimoto’s. My doctor just increased my med dose, as he thought I should have noticed some change already. I’m not discouraged - he said it could take 6-8 weeks before I notice anything. More bloodwork will be done in a few weeks and we’ll know the exact range we’re aiming for my results to be in then. Makin’ strides!

rn

On even better notes, one of my goals is seeming closer. It’s marathon training season for me. I run year-round, but this is when I reall kick it into gear (my butt, that is!), for the marathon in October. I run several races leading up to the marathon and I had one recently. It was only a 5K (3.1 miles), but I ran a new personal best by more than 5 minutes and I won my division and even got a trophy!  It seems so funny that even in my 30’s, I’d be motivated by a trophy. I guess we never fully lose the kid in us!!

rn

Here’s to all of us enjoying that kid this week-end! Cheers, my friends!

rn

I finally have confirmation that I’m not crazy and not a failure! Okay, so most of my friends would dispute the first part, but at least the second is on it’s way to being “fixed.”

rn

The background: I have been on WW since September 2006. I have gained and lost the same #&$#&%(&(# (excuse me!) 13 lbs since then. No matter how “good” I am (I have NEVER used my extra weekly “naughty” points), the most I can shake is 0.2# at a time. Still a loss, yes. However, one meal off the the programme and I’ve gained 3 lbs back. It’s been very depressing and frustrating. Which, of course, starts the cycle of not caring, giving up on the diet and gaining even more. There have also been the cycles of extreme exhaustion, which I chalked-up to dieting and my work/business schedules; the hair loss, again I figured the dieting, stress and getting older; the depression, again dieting, failing at dieting, and other life events; and numerous other issues.

rn

I have been questioning my thyroid for over a year, but I don’t have health insurance (don’t even get me started on why not), so I haven’t been able to get things checked. My mum loaned me the money for a thyroid test and there it is…Hashimoto’s disease! *Choirs of angels sing* I think I’m probably the only person to ever sing the praises of having an autoimmune disease that will eventually destroy my thyroid completely … but it’s my proof that I am good at dieting - but my body isn’t!!!

rn

So, while it will take a while to regulate thyroid medications (I am having my thyroid biopsy Friday and will start meds then), there is light at both ends of my tunnel now!

rn

Sorry for rambling and TMI, but I am excited and finally feel hopeful! Best wishes, all!

rn